Back home??
3:07 PMFrom "My world is upside down...AGAIN!"
Elizabeth
I had never considered becoming a DPT or even a PM&R..to be completely honest..it always had been boring to me.
When I got out..I saw Laura sitting on a chair. She had a huge tray of pastries in her hands.
I got closer to her and touched her shoulder.
-Oh...are those for me? -I joked- Oh,thank you! I've always said I deserve some sort of prize for going through that hell..uhm I..mean PT.
She chuckled.
-Actually,I brought these cannoli for Aurore. She told me she had a craving for those so..
-That's so sweet of you.-I caressed her cheek- You're so sweet.
-Here.
She gave me the car keys.
-Can you get to the car on your own?
I nodded.
-I'll go to Children's next door to leave this tray,ok?
She got up from the chair.
-Wait for me in the car. Hopefully,I'll make it quick.
I started thinking. I was feeling so happy at that moment..I wanted to sing at the top of my lungs. I didn't want to spoil my happiness but..for the first time in months I actually..wanted to go some place else than my house and the hospital for my appointments.
"Carpe diem"..Oratius used to say.
"Seize the day,take time to smell the roses".
-Mum? Are you alright?
-Actually..I was wondering..can I please come with you to the hospital? To see how your sister is doing..and to say hi?
She grinned.
-Of course. Let's go.
As soon as we stepped into the hospital..I felt at home.
It was like I had never left. I wanted to dance around and to jump in the hallways. I felt tears in my eyes.
Laura put an arm around my shoulders.
-Mum..-she whispered -..are you alright? I can walk you to the car if you want..we can go back home..just..give me 10 minutes to find Aurore and leave her the tray..
-No,sweetheart.- I smiled- I'm alright.
-Are you sure?
I looked at her and I wiped my eyes with my sleeve.
-I am sure.-I assured her- Come on,now. Let's go and find Rory.
I started walking..well..more like wobbling..to the elevator. I pressed the button to the 8th floor,where the Endocrinology department was.
A few seconds later we got into the elevator and to the right floor.
I couldn't see Aurore anywhere. Laura was about to ask a nurse but I stopped her.
I had suddenly remembered where Aurore was.
-She's covering the diabetes clinic. -I said- She told me yesterday evening. I just remembered.
I took her arm.
-Come with me. The clinic is this way.
Laura started walking beside me.
After a few minutes,we got to the clinic. It had glass doors with a cartoon-like pancreas and lots of colourful chocolates and candies painted on it. It was all very colourful and happy looking..my mood improved quite a bit just by looking at it.
-What about this..-Laura's voice took me away from my thoughts-..I get in there first and give her the tray..and then you come in and surprise her?
-Okay.
-She's gonna be so happy to see you..she's gonna start jumping around or something. -Laura chuckled- She's also probably gonna give me the stink eye but..
I was confused. Rory wasn't used to do those sort of things..especially not to Laura.
She did mock Henry quite a bit and sometimes they still had silly fights about tiny things..just like when they were kids and he used to steal her dolls and make them ride on his toy cars. She did mock him but they loved each other to death..anyone could see it.
Yet..she never mocked Laura nor had fights with her. They had always been very close,since they were little.
-Why would she give you the stink eye,sweetie?
-Nothing.-she said- So..I'll go in now..otherwise these cannoli are gonna melt and become a big mess. You stay here. I'll text you when you can come in.
I nodded. She walked in and disappeared. I sat on a plastic chair,phone in hand..waiting for her to text me.
I wondered if it was the case I wore my badge..so that people wouldn't mistake me for a freak wandering around the hallways and potentially scaring their kids. I purposely was still wearing my sunglasses because the sad and grey-and proud- part of me didn't want my former colleagues to see me wobble around using a walker for support. A part of me didn't want to bump into a former colleague of mine and see pity in their eyes when they looked at me or talked to me. I knew it would have taken a while for me to walk unassisted again and most likely my walking wouldn't have been "normal" anymore..I would have always limped a little bit.
I knew it was really stupid and that I shouldn't have felt that bad just because I couldn't walk perfectly anymore or because my fine motor skills were still a little off.
I had been so lucky..and I knew it,deep inside.
But once again,depression had come upon me and the evil little monster that had been housing my mind since I was in my teens,had started torturing me and playing around with me.Most of the time fighting against it was exhausting and drained all the energy out of me.
I started rummaging into my purse to see if my badge was still in there. I got lucky..as a couple of minutes later,I pulled it out. I looked at it for a few minutes.
The picture on it was from 1 year earlier at the latest..but the woman on it didn't look like me..at all. It was like I had got 10 years older in a matter of 5 months.
I sighed loudly and then I put it on.
At that moment,my phone buzzed. It was Laura.
I took off my sunglasses and I wore my regular glasses instead. Then I got up from the chair and I started walking towards the clinic.
-Take this,evil monster! -I thought.
As soon as I walked in,I saw many kids running around.Then,I spotted Aurore and Laura,talking and eating cannoli at the nurses station.
I was behind them,they couldn't see me.
It felt so good to be there.
I slowly got closer to them and then I slightly touched Aurore's shoulder.
-Good morning,doctor Freedman...- I said-...are you gonna eat all those cannoli on your own? I thought I had taught you about sharing.
She turned around and she almost squealed. Then she grinned.
-Mum,is this really you? -she said- what are you doing here?
She hugged me and I returned the hug,squeezing her tightly.
-Hi,sweetie. -I said,after we broke the hug -Laura had to come over so I thought..why not?
-I'm so happy you're here! -she said.
She was so excited I was sure she was trying hard not to jump around. I used to do the exact same.
We were so similar,much to my disappointment.
She then got the tray with the pastries closer to me.
-Want a cannoli? -she asked.
I used to love sweets of any kind and to have a pretty bad case of sweet tooth.
I realised that,Strangely, at that moment I was actually hungry and I actually wanted to eat something. I then also realised that,for once,I could actually smell food without wanting to throw up.
-Yes,why not!
I smiled while Rory gave me one of the cannoli and a napkin. I noticed she had taken a ton of napkins for herself as well. That made me smile wider.
While eating pastries,she often managed to get powdered sugar or even the various fillings on her nose or her face..much like I did.
The cannoli Laura made were indeed the best I had ever tasted..beside maybe the ones I had had during my honeymoon in Italy.
Laura was a great pastry chef and she had actually completed part of her training in Southern Italy,after all.
While eating one of them..I surprisingly realised it didn't taste like cardboard,like all the food I had eaten in the previous months did.
I could actually taste the rich and decadent ricotta and sugar filling,the crispy and light pastry shell,the crunchy pistachios.
I could taste the bittersweet chocolate in the filling.
Oh boy..how much I had missed chocolate.
Chocolate... had always been one of my favourite things in the whole world.
I kept on eating,slowly.
-Is that good? -Laura asked me.
I nodded,while eating. Then I swallowed.
-It tastes amazing. -I said.
She grinned at me,
-I'm glad you like it.
I looked at both Laura and Aurore.
-Although I've just realised we should say " do you want a cannolo" instead of "do you want a cannoli" if we want to say it in correct Italian. "Cannoli" in Italian is actually plural..."cannolo" is singular. Laura,you should know this.
-I'm afraid I forgot all the Italian I knew..-she giggled- I've always been terrible at languages..
-Do you still remember Italian,after all this time? We went to Italy..what..20 years ago? -Aurore added. -Wow...
-I used to be good at it. -I said- I'm by no means fluent..but I still remember some basic grammar,some differences between Italian and English..stuff like that.
I actually would need a nice review of it all.
-I bet you know way more than you think! -Laura said- Remember when you ordered for us at that restaurant in Rome and the waiter complimented you on your Italian?
I felt my cheeks turning red.
-I'm sure he just wanted to be kind..
-You always underestimate yourself..and your abilities..-Laura sighed-..it's annoying.
I smiled at her.
- And you always overestimate my abilities,my dear.
She checked her watch.
-Anyways...I have to go to work now. -she said-I'm sure Theresa and Danielle are wondering where I am.
I cleaned the powdered sugar off my mouth and my hands with the napkin.
-Of course.- I said- Let's go.
I got closer to Aurore,who was about to shove her 3rd or 4th cannolo in her mouth.
-You are eating too many sweets. -I sweetly scolded her- They're delicious but all that sugar isn't good for you,baby.
-I can't help it! -she said- They're yummy! Blame it on Laura!
-Hey! -Laura protested- It's not my fault if I am super good at my job!
We all laughed.
I then hugged Aurore and squeezed her tightly.
-See you later,Rory,sweetheart. -I kissed her forehead- Don't overwork yourself.
-I won't,mum. -she said- I promise.
She paused and then she looked at me
Her eyes got sparkly and she grinned.
-Why don't you stay for a bit? -she said- So you can say hi to Henry when he's done with the craniotomy he's doing right now.
I held back a sigh.
Once again..she seemed so excited.
My heart broke at the thought of telling her no...but still..I didn't feel ready yet.
I still felt very out of place in the hospital.
I wasn't a doctor at that moment...nor a patient. I was in a weird place between the two and it felt very uncomfortable.
I no longer knew who I was in the hospital..what my role was.
-Sweetheart..I have to go grocery shopping and to clean the house a bit because the kids are gonna come over this afternoon.
Aurore went from excited to sad within seconds. The sparkle in her eyes disappeared,so did her grin.
She felt emotions very strongly,once again,much like I did.
I looked at her and I felt my heart breaking. I then felt horrible and selfish.
She wasn't asking me to see patients or to go down to the hem floor after all. She knew I wasn't ready for that.
She was just asking me to stay there for a bit.
I did have to go grocery shopping and to clean the house..I hadn't lied.
But I realised I had enough food in the house to last me for a couple of days..I just needed to pick up some stuff for the kids..fruit juice,chocolate milk,ice cream and the little pudding cups Sarah loved.
That could wait a couple of hours.
As far as cleaning the house,Laura had deep cleaned most of the rooms and changed the sheets of all the beds just two days earlier.
So that too could wait.
-Why don't you send me your grocery list? -Laura piped up- I actually have to go grocery shopping myself before picking up the kids from school. I'll get what you need as well and bring it to you along with the kids.
-And I can give you a ride home after lunch. -Aurore added,looking at me with puppy eyes- Please,mummy. It's just a couple of hours..we're gonna have fun...
I had no more excuses. And they knew,to that day still,I couldn't say no to puppy eyes.
I smiled.
-Okay,then. -I gave in- I guess..I'll stay.
Aurore grinned again. The sparkle in her eyes reappeared. I was sure she was trying hard not to jump around.
A few seconds later,I found myself wrapped tightly in her arms.
-I'm so happy you decided to stay. We're gonna have fun!
She was holding me so tightly I could barely breathe.
-Honey..you're crashing me..-I whispered.
-Oh..of course.
She let me go,mortified.
-I'm sorry.
I grinned at her.
-Don't worry. -I said- I know you're excited. ".
1 comments
Enjoyed your story as always Emma
ReplyDeleteand that cannoli made my mouth water
Keep writing !
xx