About 3 weeks ago, I went in for an eye doctor's appointment. I was very excited about that because I hadn't had a eye doctor's appointment in a while and also because I couldn't wait to meet my new ophthalmologist. The appointment was on a Saturday,at around 7 30 PM. Before I started getting ready for it, I was so excited and also a little bit nervous. Thankfully I talked with a dear friend of mine, with whom I shared my excitement and nervousness. After we finished talking, I felt a lot better- it's just so good to have friends who share the same passions as you! Then, I got ready and my mum and I drove to the appointment. We took my walker with us as well, of course! I can't live without it!
After
a 15 minute drive,we got to the doctor's office. What caught my
attention first as soon as we got into the building was that it was just
so...homey. The waiting room in particular instantly made me feel at
ease. Seriously. At some point I felt like I was back home... in my own
living room. There were two really comfy looking red couches, a little
glass table and some chairs. On two walls there were several
paintings; I think they were from Gaugin,or so they seemed to me. (I
hope I'm right...after 3 years of Art History, it would be bad if I
weren't!) On another wall there was a big poster about a research my
doctor had performed as well as many framed diplomas she had been
awarded of during her training and to be honest, as soon as I got in,
the poster was what caught my eye first.
After
less than 5 minutes of waiting,the doctor called my mum and I in. She
smiled at us right away and she kindly told us to take a seat. Then she
asked me why I was there and she started taking a history. I felt at
ease with her... right away. She checked my retina and my eyes, acting
calmly and precisely. She paid attention to my needs, to how I felt.
She was also really friendly. For example, she asked me about school and
about what school year I was in. When I told her I was in a biotech
program, she told me she had a PhD in the subject and it fascinated me.
However, after she finished checking on my retina and on my vision, she
dilated my pupils with atropine eye drops, in order to check my eyes'
fundi( note: according to the Latin I studied, this should be the plural
for "fundus"Let me know if I am right). She also told me I had dry eyes
and she explained what findings had lead her to that particular
diagnosis...and it was so interesting! Then she wrote me a prescription
for new glasses and fake tears, and she answered some questions my mum
and I had. When we had to leave, I was sad.
Once
we got home, I felt so inspired, so bubbly and happy. Truth is, the
appointment and the doctor herself made me think. I loved everything
about how my doctor acted with me. As I said, she had been kind, patient
and most of all, she made me feel at ease,instantly. She talked to me
directly, and she made me feel comfortable. I wasn't scared of talking
to her,of asking her whatever I wanted to. With her, the invisible brick
wall that seems to be present between me and my professors (for
example) these days just wasn't there anymore. It felt amazing. I
didn't feel like my questions were too dumb to ask or like I couldn't
talk to her. I just felt at ease.
As
I said earlier, all of this made me think. I've always wanted to become
a doctor. In the past, I thought this goal of mine was impossible for
me to reach and I tried so so hard to forget about it. To this day, I
still cannot forget. Not a day goes by without me thinking about how
much I love medicine and about how much I'd love to become a doctor. I
decided I'll try my very best in order to eventually become a physician
and make my dream come true. I'm not saying I'll make it. I'm not
saying it's gonna be easy. I'm just saying I want to try and give myself
a chance. I want to fight for my dream. I want to become the
best physician I can possibly be.
I
want to be kind,sweet and fun. I want my patients to trust me. I want
to be that doctor who takes the time to explain to a patient everything
about his or her disease and about how to treat it. I don't want to be
famous, or the head of the department. I just want to be the best
physician I can possibly be. I want to be that doctor who sits at a
patient's bedside to offer comfort.
Some of you may already know that
for now my 2 favorite specialties are pediatrics and OB/GYN.
So, if I go
into pediatrics, I want to be that doctor who has colored band aids and
candies in her white coat pockets...at all times. I want to be that
doctor who knows the name of this or that patient's favorite teddy bear.
I want to be that doctor who plays with the kids.I want to make them
understand that my walker isn't scary but it is in fact a very helpful
and fun piece of equipment for me.
If
I end up going into OB/GYN, I want to be that doctor who comforts a scared first
time mum, taking the time to explain to her everything she wants to know
about this or that. I want to be that doctor that understands her
patient's fears and who is always there for her, whether she's
complaining about heartburn or about something more serious. I want my
patients to feel at ease with me- I want them to understand they can
tell me everything. If I have a patient with an high risk pregnancy, I
want to be that doctor who understands(or at least tries to understand)
how she must be feeling. I want to be that doctor who's there for her
patients, always.
I want to be able to show my patients (especially
the little ones, if I go into pediatrics) that having a disability or a
disease doesn't make a person a burden or a bother for others, and it
doesn't mean that that particular person has to limit his/her
aspirations or dreams. I just want to be the best doctor I can possibly
be and the best version of myself I can possibly be. And no matter how
difficult it's gonna be, I'll try my best. I still have a bumpy and long
long road ahead of me, and,I would lie if I said it doesn't scare
me. It does scare me. A lot. It scares me so so much. But..as I
said...I'll try my very best.
